its always good to read what you have to say mate
Much appreciated mate.
Not completely but taking a step back. I have seen the changes and the signs are there for me and i don';t want to see it all drift away on a week to week basis. It's fucking strange and horrible scenario to be hit with and then how you deal with it. It is after all a love affair of sorts where you're captivated. I have felt down about it and also bad due to my long term loyalty which made me feel that it's wrong to back off. Thing is my group has gotten smaller and smaller over the last few years so there are less reasons to want to go. At some point hopefully the boy gives us a grandson and i'll do the blooding of him with pleasure. that'll be fourth generation all and job done!shame you are giving it up