Chelsea n/w

[Peckham Lion]

 

[Gaeilge Millwall]

A good mate of mine and old school Chelsea got hold of two tickets for a champions league game at Stamford bridge, was against Zenit St Petersberg. After a lot of refusals i finally gave in and went to the game with him. Two seats in the side bit along the touchline we sat.

Apart from some divs behind the goal singer super Frank Lampard there was hardly a peep. No songs, swearing or shouting. I called one of the Ruskie players a square headed cunt only to be greeted with tuts and some cunt that wanted to film me. That move was brought to an abrupt end very quickly by me after a bit of a growl at the geezer.

I then made him delete the video from his phone that he'd just taken of me. Had a quick look over either shoulder cause i was going to nut the string but there was stewards everywhere and cameras behind me that were trained on us.

The crowd mainly consisted of middle aged ,middle class and toff English bods and well dressed Mediterranean and arab looking oiks. Red wine in plastic beakers being guzzled everywhere and not a swear word in the air.

I had enough five minutes into the second half so got up and grabbed my mates keys to his motor and left him there. Sat in his car in Lotts road and had few reefers whilst i waited. I should have just stayed in the moter when we arrived going by what was walking towards the stadium.

Looked more like a Rugger crowd than one you;d see at football. Two hours of my life i'd never get back and made me feel grateful for Wall and that we'll never end up like that. Have never seen so many green Barbour jacket clad Ruperts in all my life before that evening. Grim.

I hope you had your half and half scarf on dear boy ......

 

[BigPaul]

Who's told you that? You're to young to remember the gag.
I bet it was BP via Private Message...

I wouldn't do that.
Scousers and NOT funny.

 

[Kryan Bing]

It must have been odd for Lamplard taking on a gig knowing he really wasn't wanted, although he thought he was over qualified and too good for the job. Oh hang on, self-respect doesn't come into it...money does.

"Oi Frankie baby, fancy earning a few quid while we try and get someone better than you...it shouldn't take too long...Hound Dog Harry said you would be up for it".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/65586426

 

[Lionchel]

Just heard they are upping season ticket prices by 25% next season. Fucking disgusting, spunk £600m on shit players then stripe the fans. Sadly there will always be enough soccer fans to snap them up.

What a shadow of the club they used to be. Genuinely feel for old school Chelsea and hate the plastic middle class modern prem soccer fans that have replaced them.

Said for the last few weeks be careful what you wish for with regards the prem.

Seriously hope we never get there.

This proves they treat supporters as customers and all they want is "Bums on seats"

 

[Kryan Bing]

This proves they treat supporters as customers and all they want is "Bums on seats"

It seems, putting your bum on a seat at Chelsea, is defiantly the best place to put it... Regardless of the cost: **

 

[70sCR]

Just dug out an old LLG post about Chelsea that made me laugh so much I kept it. If the fella who wrote it is on here, Gawd bless you sir. I never worked out who it was. NOLU on LLG? Hope you don't mind.

Morning chaps, thought this might put a smile on your faces to start the day in positive mood. Not major incident at all, more a personal thing but involving football bods. Had occassion many years ago to be working in Mitchham with a couple of chaps of Irish extraction. Good chaps, prone to getting pissed at dinner time. One occassion a bit of a feud they had with some bods flared up and one of them was confronted by about 8 blokes who wanted to do him. He was well pineappled and though it werent nothing to do with me as I was with him, what you going to do. Anyway did say come on bit unfair etc. So a straightener between him and their main chap. Then some big lump who was another one of this little crew come running over and without warning biffs me, on me arse go to get up kicks me in face. Lucky for me top of the foot job and not too bad really, but puts me down again and another one gives me a boot. Leap up ranting but its kind of stopped. Irish bod and their main feller now stopped, their man won. Big lump says sorry mate didnt realise it was a straightener. Thats alright I say , but file it. He is CFC. No more agg for the time seems sorted and Irish blokes get on alright with former foes. I ain't forgot though and not so quick to forgive. Couple of months later having a drink in boozer there , cant remember name,an early evening after work type one which goes on .. big lump and co in their me with the irish bods and couple of their cousins. Jovial and banter. CFC lump going on about CFC how good they are etc. Everyones had a few. Lump playing fruit machine,and I thinking might be a good time to get retribution and bottle him, then notice he has his work clothes including these brown crimplene strides.. also notice tear in the arse of them. As he is engrossed in the fruit machine decide I shall repay the cunt. Hold lighter by rip in his strides.. being crimplene it catches quick , little blue flame at first.Amazed lump aint noticed then he does after a few seconds when flame suddenly grows, he reaches round and beats at flame with his hands ( as one would) and here is a funny bit, of course being synthetic the hot melted stuff sticks to his hands and his now screeching aaahhh aaahhh etc and hoping about and running in a little circle creeching on. Hilarious and in hysterics, flames doing well but some killjoy uses soda syphon and beer towels and put it out.. But most of the arse of his trousers burned out and his pants also so his arse cheeks exposed, and they are red raw and burned and blistered, he starts crying.. nearly faints etc so I say "well seems chelsea are doing well right now, they was on fire" He called his missus to pick him up and take him. hilarious though eh chaps. Did say to someone I regarded it as even now but if he wanted to continue I would really set him on fire but no more agg followed. Now come on , thats a funny start to the day aint it Right chaps got to graf,t have a good day

 

[bodia]

Ken Dodds dads dogs dead

I remember that band!