Train tickets to barnsley (doncaster)

There is a traditional way of traveling by train in Yorkshire.

Passenger: "'Appen, 'ow much is it for cheap return ticket t' yonder Barnsley?"

Clerk: "£7, sir, if you are travelling today"

Passenger: "There must be something wrong with your ears, lad. I said CHEAP!"

Clerk: "£7 is the cheap return price, with a super saver. Do you have a senior citizen's railcard, sir. Then you get a discount."

Passenger: "Senior bloody cit... Do I look like your grand-dad? I'm forty-chaffing-two...!! [chesty coughs lustily]. Seven pounds.....!!! I didn't ask t' go via Barca-bloody-lona. I don't want a day out in Cornwall. This isn't the Orient Express, is it? I just want t' get t' Barnsley, though I daresay you've not 'eard many people say that before!"

Clerk: "£7. Are you paying cash or credit card?"

Passenger: "ee, I'm reet surprised you don't take gold bullion. Seven-bloody-quid!!! That's the same as three pints of Sam Smith's at t' Pudding an' Whippet. Do you take Green Shield stamps? Me gran left 'em me. I've got 'em 'ere in their little books."

Clerk: "Cash or card sir. There is a queue forming."

Passenger: "Well, more bloody fool them for waiting t' be robbed. Eee, an' I thought you were wearing mask for Covid. Didn't realise you were Dick chaffing Turpin."

Clerk: "If I can hurry you, sir."

Passenger: "I don't abide with this First Class segregation nonsense for t' la-de-da toffs. 'Ow much is it, return, for standard class, 'appen?"

Clerk: "It is standard, There are no first class facilities on this service. Though you may purchase a beverage from the cafe and take that on board if you wish."

Passenger: "Purchase a beverage....? With bloody what? A couple of washers? T' shirt off me back? Aye, you've just robbed me blind o' me life savings, as it is. And another thing, where is t'....'ere....what you doing?"

Clerk: "Closing the booth, sir. Next train's just been cancelled. And there won't be any more today because of weekend engineering works. So that's me shift finished, an' all. Do 'av a reet miserable day, sir. After all, this is Yorkshire."
 
Last edited:
Train from Doncaster to Barnsley was about £7 return, don't think it's that far, 15ish miles although train takes about 40 mins🤷‍♂️ cab would be quicker and cheaper if a few of you
Trains from Doncater to Barnsley go via Meadowhall a big out of town shopping centre near Sheffield.
You change trains at Meadowhall Station catch a train going to Leeds which stops in Barnsley