Leeds fans were in uproar last night as they learned Millwall’s match day programme may have played a part in their 3-2 loss at the Den. Despite their keeper confusing fans by losing and then finding his bottle and a 90th minute bash, it seems there’s more going on than meets the eye.
Millwall were proud as punch in the days leading up to this fixture with Andy Ambler waxing lyrical that “This is an exciting, innovative programme…” unique and a first in football and that “On Saturday, you will hopefully agree with us that the effect of these alterations is visually stunning.” Millwall has won awards for its programme in the past but Leeds fans suspect the 3D imagery affected their players.
The Leeds United players and supporters appear to have all been WATCHING ON TOGETHER and after flicking through the specially prepared 3D Millwall programmes, they claim that they had their vision impaired for the first 60 minutes resulting in Kasper ‘The Ghost’ Schmeichel conceding three goals.
Unconfirmed reports have Schmeichel confessing at half time that on both occasions he saw a red ball and a blue ball coming his way and that he failed to grasp the 3D reality unfolding in front of him in time to save.
The Ghost – a nickname recently picked up due to the disappearing act he does at the Den when in front of thousands of Millwall fans, had recently stated ‘The atmosphere we see at Elland Road compares to anywhere. It means that the atmosphere at other stadiums isn’t going to shock you or intimidate you.’ Isn’t it?
So with such a matter of fact statement in that his balls are bigger than ours, it can only mean that the 3D photos had something to do with the loss. How could it have been anything else? A lacklustre, ill prepared, lacking Leeds team with more mouth than talent, surely not? Outclassed by a superior outfit of steadfast Lions? or maybe it was his new gloves.
Kasper ‘The Ghost’ Schmeichel was last seen floating towards the team bus, pale faced and heading north with more than two big balls on his mind, carrying a 3D Millwall programme as an excuse and a reminder that pre match bravado doesn’t make you (the) DADDY!
Meanwhile at the other end, as Millwall’s Crystal Palace supporting Press Officer – an oxymoron – got on his knees begging fans to put their 3D glasses on for a spectacular photo shoot failed in front of his eyes, fans have applauded this 30 year old Jaws cinema technology in the usual fashion.
One fan, NoOneLikesUs wrote on MillwallOnline ‘Agree with everything you just said, none of it was 3D just in different colours because of the s*** glasses.’ ballsey added ‘What made [me] laugh was they run out of 3D glasses, only we could sell 3D programme’s without the glasses.’
‘When Deano Standing told everyone to put their glasses on, it was so cringe worthy that it almost made me think that this is what it’s like to support Palace.’ replied NoOneLikesUs.
While Tottenham players are getting shirts lined with the latest technology to tell how bad they smell, check heart rate and allowing those analysing read outs to tell how much they s*** it at the Den compared to the Boleyn, Millwall are getting the chance to see their players in the match day programme in full 3D imagery.
I’m sure everyone at the ground on Saturday before the match was hoping to see their heroes in real life after being woo-d by the 3D programme. Thankfully five minutes later, as if by magic, they were able to.
One Leeds fan said ‘This 3D programme is really good, look, the players are even moving now. Wow. It’s like really being there, at the Den.’ You would think that his five hour journey down… well you would… He even wore the 3D glasses for the entire match! Thanks SE1_Lion.
The humour continued on the Millwall forums ‘Sorry but it wasn’t 3D, one half of the programme was red and the other half blue and all the images had little fuzzy lines around them. Nice idea I suppose but let’s go back to 2D for Tuesday please.” Wrote TheRealKingKenny. I’m expecting a reply from Ballsey asking if he got the glasses.
mfctom200 was more accepting of the Millwall marketing team with ‘You blind… it did work and Robbo’s column picture looked quality!’ So not all is lost Deano.
Millwall certainly has come a long way since the seventies, once upon a time it was surgical masks and now it’s 3D glasses… perhaps fans could combine them both and have a Darth Vader Millwall special. Feel the force young Lionwalker.
Fear no foe, as Syd Wall has stepped in to bring a sense of normality back to the Millwall stage with ‘Real Wall didn’t need the 3D glasses, they just got tanked up and it looked fuckin A!’
For those Leeds sporting black eyes, MO has an excuse for you Monday morning ‘Did the ones sold to the away lot have a fist come out and punch them when they opened the programme?’ suggests NTO_30.
And boneyhazell added ‘I thought some of it was a bit too life like. When I was looking at the pictures from the Cardiff match I kept thinking some Welsh **** was gonna jump out on me.’
I think what may have been a treat was if everyone put their 3D glasses on and saw a real life Lion on the pitch… but then we had a team of those demolishing Leeds at the weekend so everyone’s a winner.
Joking aside and the joke is on the M1 as I write, Millwall earned three invaluable points on Saturday and only time will tell how invaluable they are to become.
Share your 3D visions with fellow Millwall on MillwallOnline, if you’re an oppo fan, why not sign up and get stuck in as well. Kasper, click the blue link, not the red or you’ll be there all day.
One last helpful and caring message for Kasper ‘The Ghost’ Schmeichel. Lay off the drink son, staggering 30 yards asking for a refill from the barman (it was the referee) isn’t going to do your career any good!
